Last Entry for BlogFest

" ... but on a graph, my relationship with God would be a straight line with a few bumps here and there." ~Catherine~



Seeing Catherine's 'relationship-with-God' graph above made me ponder for a few days, how would my own graph would be if I were to illustrate it?

Guess my graph might looks pretty much the same with hers. There were always ups and downs here and there. It's kinda complicated, though.

Suddenly it reminds me of what my spiritual leader once told me.

"Our relationship with God, although there will always be mountains and hills, ups and downs all the time, it is important for us to ensure that we increase our personal standards over time."

In other words, BY RIGHT the graph should be similar to the following:



I've almost forgotten this!
And yes, after pondering over, guess I really need to TRY to ENSURE that my personal standards are increasing over time.

Regarding what kind of personal standards which he (my spiritual leader) meant.
Let's take an example of the extreme case.
Let say, 10 years ago A's 'down' period was when A robbed a bank, and A's 'up' period was when A decided to visit Church twice a year on Christmas & Easter.
So by now, A's 'down' period should be when A only visit Church twice a year on Christmas & Easter, and A's 'up' period is when A decided to visit Church regularly every week.

It is DEFINITELY not an easy thing to do.
Yet, guess I need to add this 'standard-improvement' factor on my wish-list for my personal relationship with God within two years from now on, as I wrote in previous entry.

That's all for my last entry in our BlogFest.

Thanksss much to everyone involved! =)

GOD & me

Geez! I gotta admit our final week's topic is the most difficult one! =)

For me, it's not that simple to describe my personal relationship with God. In fact, it is a very long journey with countless ups and downs, together with all sorts of feelings involved. No doubt, it has always been beautiful! =)

Actually, I'm not sure what should I write down here and how should I describe my feelings to God at the moment. Umm. Guess, let's just take a peek on my usual daily activities!

Usually in the morning, after I woke up properly and realized what time it was, I would say a simple good morning to God and thank Him for another day He has given to me. Afterwards, I would rush with my usual morning routine: take a hot shower, dress up, put on make-up, grab my handbag and not to forget take a quick look on one or two verses from my fave Psalms or sometimes Proverbs.

On the way to office, sometimes I would have a short conversation with Him, talking about what breakfast I would like to have that day. Other times, I would sing some praise or worship songs in my heart for Him or simply beg for His mercy for some souls in purgatory. And some other times, I would just fall asleep and think nothing about anything on earth, but my beloved bedroom. Haha.

During work, I gotta admit that most of the time I usually forgot about Him. There were merely a few times I did ask Him what shall I do regarding some of important decisions I need to make. Another time, there were days when I worshiped and adored Him in the midst of my hectic days in office. And other times, I did have light conversations with Him in office, about anything under the sun. Just like a light conversations between close friends.

After work, sometimes I would visit Him in adoration chapel and attend daily Mass. Some other times if I were too tired or have another stuffs to do or simply too lazy, I would skip the daily Mass.

Night time, sometimes I would share with Him the story of the day, happy ones, sad ones, and pour out my true feelings to Him. I would seek His comments or His guidance on certain things. It might be kinda weird or strange to some. Sometimes I would feel that He is sitting beside me, holding me close in His arms and smiling. Sometimes we were just stay there in the silence, enjoy the beautiful moments. Sometimes He told me He is not really pleased with what I've done. I could clearly feel how much and how deep and how great is His unending love. It is obviously one of the most beautiful things on earth, when He said, "I love you and you are Mine."

Sadly to say, there were times I 'ignored' Him and His real existence. I would just recite the official Our Father quickly and take a peek on another one or two verses of Holy Bible and straightly go to sound sleep!

Two years from now, I do hope that I would be able to 'include' Him in every single activity which I do , be it work, play, or simply anything! =) And I do hope that I would not be 'too busy' with other things until I forget about His presence and ignore Him.

Guess that's all for my Week 5 entry .... =)

The Reminders

Despite the fact that fewer and fewer of us are posting their entries lately, this week I found two posts which were like reminders to me once again, or rather, a light slap on my face! Hee ... =)

THE FIRST ONE
Are you guilty of indulging in earthly possessions or splurging yourselves with materialism?
Stella

Sadly, I gotta to admit that I used to love SHOPPING very much! Back then, there were no weekends passed without shopping rituals, or what some prefer to call 'retail therapy'. The worst part perhaps, I even successfully converted a few of medium-shopper-friends into shopaholics!

It was until one fine day, I had a short yet meaningful conversation with a close friend of mine.

+ Geez! I nearly splurge on a-few-grands handbag!
- Haha ...
+ Lucky this time my self control was very good! *proudly*
- Hmm ... Haha ...
Anyway, did you know? With a few grands, a LOT of children in small village might be able to continue their education for a couple years.

I was struck by these words!
A wise use of our money could actually changes other people's lives.
Joyful smiles of children in small village with tons of hopes in continuing their studies are definitely far more meaningful than a piece of designer handbag!



Miraculously, from that moment on I slowed down a lot in shoppings.
I began to understand that my money is not actually my own, even though I might be the one who work hard to earn them. My money is God's, which He trusts me to take care and use wisely. And hence, since that day I would feel terrible if I violate His trust by using them irresponsibly merely to satisfy my hedonistic needs. There are so much other better usages of money, such as helping children in small villages to continue their studies! =)

I learnt (with much struggles and self-denial of course!)
1. To buy ONLY what I NEED and NOT what I WANT.
2. To be more responsible for whatever God has trusted under my care.

And it might be weird to some, but I'll always seek God's permission while sometimes I feel that I NEED (not WANT) to 'reward' my hard work with a little splurge. Haha ... *Afterall, I'm still kinda enjoy indulging myself, I guess* =p~ *BUT now with one condition: OIGP (Only If God Permits)*


THE SECOND ONE
I learnt that I have to be ready whenever God calls me, whether to priesthood/religious life, married life or single life. I believe each vocation is unique thus none is superior than the others. A priest told me that if I don't accept the vocation that God gives me, there'll be something missing in my life. So I've been discerning where God is leading me and praying that I have a heart like Mary that I'll be able to accept my vocation with all my heart.
Vincent

I used to have a kind of mindset that religious life, with their poverty-chastity-obedience vows, is the most noble vocation amongst the rests. I admire them so much. And it was only later on, after deep reflection and contemplation I finally understood that none of the vocation is better or worse than the others. Each of the vocation carries its own noble purposes according to God's master plan.

Thus, every single sentences which Vincent wrote above is like a reminder, or rather a re-confirmation to me, that whatever vocation which God has given to each one of us will definitely be the best one! Simply because, since the days we were on our mothers' wombs, He has planned everything perfectly and He has created each one of us for special purposes. =)




A priest told me that if I don't accept the vocation that God gives me, there'll be something missing in my life. ~ Vincent~

I definitely agree with this statement. Yes, we could try to run away from the vocation which God has called us into. Yes, we could just purposely choose other vocation according to our own will. BUT the risk is high, we might always feel that something is missing in our lives. Simply said, we might not be able to live our lives into the fullest.

And so these days, I'm still wholeheartedly discerning on which vocation God has actually given to me. Frankly, at the moment I totally have no pictures. Yet, I pray that whichever it is, one day I, too, could say to God like Mary once said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to Your word." ~Luke 1 : 38~


~ Images were taken from Google Image ~

The Abundant Love and Forgiveness

I still vividly remember that day.
It was early in the morning.
I was only doing my job as usual.
While I heard some noise outside.
Suddenly a group of people appeared.
There were quite numbers of them.
Someone grabbed my hands forcefully.
And the other one dragged me out by my hair.
Before I could even grasped what on earth has happened.
It was so sudden and shocking to me.
I felt terribly humiliated.

There was a large crowd along the street looking at this so-called 'parade'.
Numbers of elderly and noble men were dragging a red-handedly-caught prostitute!
I did remember some of them were cursing and spitting at me along the way.
While the others were 'kind enough' by merely throwing a disgusted look at my face.

After about half an hour plus, which felt like forever to me.
I saw a temple with another large crowd in front.
Soon before I realized, I found myself being forced to stand in the midst.
Again, I heard them cursing, whispering, and throwing a very disgusted look at me.
Never in my life I felt so humiliated as that moment.

(John 8)
1 While Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 But early in the morning He arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and He sat down and taught them.
3 Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle.

I saw some of those hypocrites amongst this crowd.
They were with me just a couple of nights ago.
Yet, they were standing in the place of honor on that day.
Throwing curses at my face with a haughty look.

(John 8)
4 They said to him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.
5 Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?"

The man they called Teacher did not answer them a single word.
Shamelessly I stole a quick glance at Him.
He had an amazing charism which I could not describe by words.
His eyes was showing abundant love, mercy and compassion.
He is none like the others.
Truly, in my life I had never met such a great Man before.

(John 8)
6 They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.

Later on only I knew that these people were using me to trap Teacher.
I was feeling terribly humiliated.
I was trembling with fear for being stoned to death.
I was very sad.
Yet, I was very furious that they wanted to harm Teacher.
In my heart, I did hope that their plan will fail.
I did not want Teacher to be harmed by them.
Teacher still kept silent and ignored them.

(John 8)
7 But when they continued asking him, He straightened up and said to them, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."
8 Again He bent down and wrote on the ground.

*Grasp!!* I was surprised to hear Teacher saying those words calmly.

(John 8)
9 And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So He was left alone with the woman before Him.

I dared not look at Him.
Suddenly I felt so dirty.
I felt so sinful.
That moment, I did regret all that I've done.
I felt that truly, I deserved to die.

(John 8)
10 Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

*Grasp!!* I was so surprised that He called me 'Woman'.
It was a very respectful and honorific calling at that time.
Truly, I did not deserve it at all.
Trembling with great fear, I lifted up my face and looked up to Him.

(John 8)
11 She replied, "No one, sir." Then Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, (and) from now on do not sin any more."

He said it with great authority.
With great assurance that I, too, should condemn myself no more.
Since that moment on, I decided that I will truly repent.
I would start a new life.
I would follow Teacher's teachings.

I would always remember that day.
The abundant love and mercy that I found in His eyes,
had changed my life forever.

(Inspired from John 8 : 1-11)


This is one of my favourite Bible passage, other than Psalms! =)
(Not that I was a prostitute or such, haha ... )

I just felt how great is God's love and forgiveness.

There was one fine day during Lectio Divina,
I was thinking, how would I feel if I were that woman.
And above story is what I imagined.

Hope that it could be blessings for you, too! =)



~Image was taken from Google Image~

The Beginning

In the Old Testament, God created male and female, so they are equal but they are not the same because God created them for different purposes.
~ Vincent ~

I definitely agree with Vincent's statement above. God created man and woman, equally, yet for different purposes, or I prefer to call it different roles. Since the beginning, God has defined clear-cut roles for man and for woman.

GENESIS 3

16 To the woman he said: "I will intensify the pangs of your childbearing; in pain shall you bring forth children. Yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall be your master."

17 To the man he said: "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree of which I had forbidden you to eat, "Cursed be the ground because of you! In toil shall you eat its yield all the days of your life.

18 Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to you, as you eat of the plants of the field.

19 By the sweat of your face shall you get bread to eat, Until you return to the ground, from which you were taken; For you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return."

In my own super simplified words, role of a man is to 'WORK' and to 'PROVIDE', while role of a woman is to 'GIVE BIRTH' and to 'SERVE'.

NOW, let's take a quick glance at the work of our salvation.
Our Saviour Jesus Christ, came to the world in front of a man, born by Blessed Virgin Mary, a woman. Again, we could see the difference between roles of a man and a woman here.
Jesus Christ, came in the form of a man, was The One who 'WORK' in our salvation history and 'PROVIDE' salvation, while Blessed Virgin Mary, a woman, was the one who 'GIVE BIRTH' to Our Dearest Saviour and the one who 'SERVE' Him as His mother.

Quoted from Vincent's blog:
Being an altar server was like a 'right of passage,' a masculine activity that led young men into the closeness of the liturgy that was reserved only for Holy Orders. Just like my little sister who like to act as the mother of her dolls, the role of altar server is a pre-formation and also discernment period for young men to the priesthood.

Again, I fully agree with his statement, especially with this sentence, '... the role of altar server is a pre-formation and also discernment period for young men to the priesthood.'

As society and culture has evolved drastically over the past millenium, nowadays it might be extremely common to see a lot numbers of women 'WORK' and even a man could actually get pregnant and 'GIVE BIRTH'!!! (click here if you're curious) And so, of course it might not be a wonder to see female altar servers everywhere as well.




Yet, (personally) I still PREFER to fulfill the purpose of God's creation.
Women 'WORK' is OK for me , but I still prefer NO to certain degree (of course if financial situation permits) It might seems very conservative yea, especially now we're in Year 2007! Haha! =)
Man 'GIVE BIRTH' is a BIG BIG NO for me!
And last but not least, about our main topic for this week:
Female Altar Server is KINDA OK for me, but I definitely still prefer a NO for this! =)

That's all for my Week3 comment!
Have a great Sunday ALL! =)



~ All images were taken from Google images ~

The God Given Roles

(sorry the layout n fonts was kind of a mess, i've already given up with blogger, been spending an hour plus on the fonts and sizes but still the same mess)

I was kinda surprised reading our new Blogfest topic:

Week 3: Female Altar servers, a step too far ahead?

It was exactly the same topic which I discussed with a friend of mine not long ago!
Hee ... =) And I gotta admit, at first it was kinda hard to decide on which side I'm gonna stand.


So, let's start with where Our Church stands presently.

Based of the inclusion of both males and females in Canon Law 230 §2: "Lay persons can fulfill the function of lector in liturgical actions by temporary designation. All lay persons can also perform the functions of commentator or cantor, or other functions, according to the norm of law."

The authentic interpretation from Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments on 15 March 1994 (confirmed on 11 July 1992 by Pope John Paul II) said that Canon 230 §2 states that service at the altar is one of the liturgical functions that can be performed by both lay men and women. The circular letter, written by the cardinal-prefect of the Congregation, also clarified that Canon 230 §2 has a permissive and not a preceptive character, that is, it allows, but does not require, the use of female altar servers. Thus it was for each diocesan bishop to decide whether to allow them in his diocese.

A later document made clear that, even if a bishop decided to permit girl altar servers, the priest in charge of a church in that diocese was not obliged to accept them, since there was no question of anyone, male or female, having a right to become an altar server.

(source : Wikipedia)

And here are some comments from Bishop and Priest which support female altar servers.

Now, according to Bishop Paul S. Loverde (Bishop of Arlington, USA), women and girls may also have the opportunity to deepen their faith through serving at the altar at their parishes – “an experience which can facilitate a young woman’s discernment of the Lord’s call to religious life.”
Father Paul deLadurantaye, director of the Office of Sacred Liturgy, said that he doesn’t believe allowing women to be altar servers will diminish vocations to the priesthood. Echoing the bishop’s words, Father deLadurantaye said, “Young girls could also be helped to discern a call to religious life.”

(source: Catholic Herald)


As for me, (personally) I'm NOT at all in opposition of female altar servers. Yet, (again, personally!) I would PREFER that altar servers are reserved for boys only.

But WHY?


I would like to try supporting my stand with below quote from Pope John Paul II Apolostic Letter on 22 May 1994, Ordinatio Sacerdotalis.

3. Furthermore, the fact that the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God and Mother of the Church, received neither the mission proper to the Apostles nor the ministerial priesthood clearly shows that the non-admission of women to priestly ordination cannot mean that women are of lesser dignity, nor can it be construed as discrimination against them. Rather, it is to be seen as the faithful observance of a plan to be ascribed to the wisdom of the Lord of the universe.


It is obvious that above quote was stating about priestly ordination and not altar servers. Yet, (personally) I would PREFER to extend the scope into altar servers. By allowing ONLY males as altar servers, it CANNOT mean than females are of lesser dignity, nor can it be construed as discrimination against females.

The next question is again, WHY? And on WHAT ground?

(Personally) I do believe that God created man and woman with their own unique ROLES, which sometimes could not be substituted by the other. I would call these as God Given Roles.


For instance, naturally ONLY women could become pregnant and give birth. (I do feel that this is one of the noble roles given by God specially for women)

Since men could NOT naturally become pregnant and give birth, it does NOT mean that men are of a lesser dignity than women, ain't it?

Hence, I simply feel the same way towards priesthood, as one of noble roles given by God specially for men. The fact that Catholic Church does NOT ordain women as Priests does NOT mean that women are of lesser dignity than men.

In the same context, about the altar server, (personally) I view altar server as one of the special role given by God to men.

Yes, it is absolutely true that Catholic Church has already opened the opportunity to both males and females to be altar servers. In this I have NO doubt and I'm NOT at all oppose the idea. Yet, (personally) I would PREFER (note: PREFER) that altar servers are reserved for males only.



~All images were taken from Google images~

The Giant in Faith

Catherine wrote:

The way David willingly and courageously confronted Goliath stunned me because he did it out of complete faith.
"... but i come againts you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the Israelites armies..."
1 Samuel 17 : 45

i admire his bravery, so much so that he trusted God so much he pit himself against a person over nine feet tall!

as you can see, it must have been a frightening experience.

You were like a dwarf next to Goliath, yet in terms of faith, you were a giant and Goliath was nothing.



This 'David and Goliath' story is also one of the chapter in David's life that made me amazed. Here is the man who trust completely in God, despite all the outward circumstances. Here is the man who walk by faith and not by sight.

for we walk by faith, not by sight.
~ 2 Corinthians 5 : 7 ~


Despite what all other people said, that it would impossible for David to beat Goliath, He believed that with God on his side, nothing would be impossible. Such an amazing faith!


Quoted from Catherine's

If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible for you

Matthew 17 :20

His faith in GOD also brought David victory over victory during his wartime against Israelites enemies. The secret of his great victory was simply 'rely on the name of the LORD our God', as what he wrote in one of his Psalm.

Some rely on chariots, others on horses, but we on the name of the LORD our God.

~ Psalm 20 : 8 ~

Having 'faith as small as a mustard seed' is what I'm still struggling extremely hard to attain up till now. Logically, it's so much easier to believe what everybody is saying, what our mind is telling us and what our circumstances are showing rather than simply believe in God. Sometimes, it might be very hard to believe in God's promises while our situation is simply telling us that it's just seems impossible. Yet, one thing we shall NOT forget that Our God is God of wonders and miracles DO happen! =)


~All images were taken from Google images~